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Apr 21
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In the 80s and 90s, there was an emergence of kid-friendly martial arts movies and video games that made every kid want to be a ninja. Karate Kid, Big Trouble in Little China, Showdown in Little Tokyo, Mortal Kombat, Street Fighter, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, 3 Ninjas, you name it. Here is another one based on a video game, turned into a super cheesy action/adventure romp about two brothers in a gang-ridden "New Angeles" trying to stop a typical over-the-top mogul from taking over the city.

image Our two leads are Scott Wolf (Billy) and Mark Dacascos (Jimmy), orphan teens living in the dystopian post-earthquake island formerly known as Los Angeles in the year 2007. Similar concept to Escape from LA which was set in 2013, isn't it? So Billy & Jimmy are tasked to protect a magical amulet and keep it out of the hands of the generic villain, because that's an easy enough plot for anyone to follow.

image Robert Patrick (Koga) is our smug, bleach-blond villain. He can turn into a somewhat fluid shadow form and imitate others. I bet he's never played a role like that before, am I right?

Alyssa Milano (Marian) is here also, playing a punky gang leader working to keep the streets safe from the various lunatics and henchmen under the employ of our douchebag villain. Suffice to say, both of our lead protagonists like to gawk at her ass, because she's looking pretty fine in this movie. I'd like to watch the extended ending where the double dragons double team her, but that footage has yet to be recovered.

image Yeah, it's a total cheesefest, but as a kid, I'm sure I would have loved it. Hell, even as an adult, I found it's retro-futuristic LA ninja-punk vibes to be surprisingly fun either way. And to make this movie legit, it features Al Leong as... you guessed it... a fucking henchman!

I give it 1 out of 2 half-medallions.


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Tommix says:
#1

Apr 21 *
Hmmmm... you make this sound better than it looks at first glance. I might have to check it out. I liked Mark Dacascos a lot in whichever John Wick movie he was in.... JW3, I think. He was also good in Brotherhood of the Wolf, a very hard-to-classify French movie that is hard to say too much about for various reasons.

Alyssa Milano was a total babe in Embrace of the Vampire (1995), which she did around the same time as Double Dragon. Forgive me for a.) voluntarily seeing a movie with that name, and b.) thinking Alyssa is hot. It just feels wrong to see her as sexy after I've seen her as a little girl in Commando, an unknown but certainly pretty high number of times.

I think I actually might have owned that (Embrace) on VHS... I probably bought it because she looked pretty on the box cover.

By the way, in the movie, does anything like THIS happen to Scott Wolf and Mark D? I certainly hope not (insert muffled sinister laugh here).


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Tommix says:
#3, Reply to #2

Apr 21
Can't argue with that.

I tried to post this link, at the bottom of my last post, but something went wrong. Just when I thought I had all that stuff figured out. youtube


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Tommix says:
#6, Reply to #5

Apr 22
Christina Applegate looked a little too much like my sister for me to, um, appreciate her in THAT WAY. I think I lost out a bit on 90s babes, for that reason. Just a BIT, because there were plenty of other insanely hot women around in pop culture. But yeah, my sister looked like a hybrid of Christina Applegate and Jennifer Aniston, in the 90s, so that affected my ability to appreciate either of them.


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Tommix says:
#8, Reply to #7

Apr 22
'Fraid not. Jeez I really set myself up for... um... a certain type of reaction... there. Oops.



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